memory loss

made on may 24, 2025

i don't tend to remember a lot of things from the past few years or so of my life. i wouldn't exactly mean big events or anything; i mean little details that i might've skipped over, like whatever i had for lunch for the past few days (which was most likely either a salad, or depending on the day, something that is not a salad, such as a coffee and a donut for hypotheticals). however, those eventually turn into me forgetting by random chance parts of my entire life (albeit not big events as i mentioned, rather, conversations i've had with others, along with what other miniscule activities i did that day). it's as if i don't think about what i've just been through much. and yet, somehow, i remember names of albums, songs, movies, tv shows, quotes from random bullshit that pop in my head.

 

it's odd to me, since you usually wouldn't think of something like that on a semi-active basis. you would most likely instantly remember someone's name and face (and if you have a family at that, their relationships to you), your diet, places you go to, etc. what amounts to the average person's routine in life can also be defined as essentially exercises and signals for your brain that try to tell it "hey dipshit. do this, not this. got it? you know this person, right?"

 

of course, it's not like i already don't remember people's names and my relationships and memories of them and whatnot, but i fear that one day i might lose all of what's in front of me, because of... no reason, really? i wouldn't say that there's one leading cause of dementia or alzheimer's or even other memory loss related illnesses. some say depression, alcohol, and even genetics. and while those factors are definitely in play at times with certain patients, i also think these sort of diseases are caused by multiple factors besides such intricacies. i could go on about how artificial sweeteners are a possible leading cause for dementia/alzheimer's, but that isn't my main takeaway here.

 

i guess my main takeaway for this is that i don't want to lose consciousness in a sense. i'm sure nobody does. it's a really horrifying concept. i also think that it's weird that i remember certain things more than other things. so yeah, that's something. i apologize if this isn't as well thought out or spread apart like i'd want it to be. this is just something i wanted off my chest, although i feel as if i could speak about this more if i knew more.

 

kthxbai. >w<