Cards Against Humanity: The James Box

Black Card Ideas


You know what they say: all toasters toast __________.

With a majority vote from Congress, __________ is now prohibited under the Constitution.

You know, I really tried to like _________, but I just couldn't get into it.

Okay, sir. Your order of a hamburger, fries, and __________ comes down to $8.37.

LEAVE __________ ALONE!

LIFTING WEIGHTS - BIG LAUGH
FRISBEE IN FACE - KILLS
SURFING - KNOCKS EM' DEAD
__________ - NO

Are you tired of __________? Hi! Billy Mays here for __________.

Mordecai. Rigby. Your job today is to acquire __________. Get to work, or you're fired!

There's only two things in the world that get me horny: feet and __________.

If I had a nickel for every time I was doomed by __________, I would have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Son, we need to talk. It's about your addiction to __________. It has to stop.

Stephen Hillenburg had been hiding it from everyone for years, but as it turns out, the secret ingredient to the Krabby Patty formula was actually __________.

Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is __________.

The best part of waking up is __________.

There's only one thing out there that's worse than Adolf Hitler's reign in Germany, and that's __________.

I fell in love with you. We fell in love with you! __________ just doesn't fall out of the fucking sky, y'know?

__________: It's easy as __________.

What's pink and square at the same time?

__________ will go down as, perhaps, the worst President in the history of the United States! @realdonaldtrump

You know who else loves __________? My mom!

__________ and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater. Derek Jeter and a boy named __________.

You can take __________, and shove it right up your ass!

Like anything in life, __________ goes well with bread.

So finally, I go over, and I open the door, and just as I suspected: it's __________. Oh, man. I hate it when I'm right!

I like my women like I like __________: strong, black, and ready to fuck.

Ladies and gentlemen. Introducing: __________ and __________.

How am I supposed to eat this pizza without __________? Don't you once ever think of the customer? You call yourself a delivery boy? Well, I ain't buying!

It's not just a boulder; it's __________.

No one out pizzas __________.

Home sweet __________.

I work day and night at my office job, and now __________ is the shit I come home to?!

Riddle me this, Batman. What's big, black, and ruins the loving relationship with your father?

You wouldn't download __________, would you?

You're clearly never from Michigan if you haven't tried out __________!

I don't care if the IRS sends __________ to my door; I am not paying taxes.

At age 14, I lost my virginity to __________. I'll always remember that day very well.

Dewey, go easy on __________. That stuff doesn't grow on... wait, it does! So, why is it so damn expensive?!

Will __________ Blend? That is the question.

There is no in-between. You either like __________ or you don't.

__________ fried this rice all by itself? Man, complements to the chef.

I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let __________ die.

If nobody got me, I know __________ got me. Can I get an amen?

1... __________. Ah, ah, ah!

I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss __________!

Peter, what are you doing?

GRID Radio 85.5. Who's calling in today?

A long ass fucking time ago in a town called Kickapoo. There lived __________, religious through and through.

Tonight's Episode: __________.

I wanna fuck you like __________.
I wanna feel you from the inside.
My whole existence is flawed.
You get me closer to God.

__________ doesn't care about black people.

F is for friends who do stuff together.
U is for you and me.
N is for __________.

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi __________.

He turned himself into __________. Funniest shit I've ever seen.

Hey guys! Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, __________ is the most compatible Pokemon for humans?

I'll trade you my __________ for your Holographic __________.

Pornography with __________ and my mother? How insulting!

Guys, don't look up "__________ rule 34". Worst mistake of my life.

__________ X __________. Best ship ever.

Free __________.

If you're into __________, you are scientifically an awesome person. And, if you're into __________, you need to be executed.

I ain't got no money. I ain't got no car to take you on a date. I can't even buy __________. But, together, we can be the perfect soulmates.

Hook, line, and __________.

I love it when a girl is interested in __________.

We should take __________ and push it somewhere else!

I want a dildo that's accurately sized like __________'s dick.

What's your addiction? Is it money? Is it girls? Is it __________?

I'm Greg Heffley, and at 12 years old, I got the __________ Touch.

Damn, girl. Are you __________? Because I want to take *you* out.

Ohhhhh yeah, that felt good... Oh no! I accidentally cummed on __________.

Lamp oil? Rope? __________? You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rupees.

I'll steal __________! No one will ever know!

"Hey, Pac-Man! What's up?"
"Me, you bitches! I'm high on __________. Wanna freebase?"

What's good, __________? What's REALLY good?!

For his neutral special, he wields __________.

Mr. Telephone Man. 
There's something wrong with my line.
When I dial my baby's number, I get __________ every time!

__________: It's grossly misadvertised!

Okay, listen: if we're going to fuck, there's one thing I want you to do: I want you to roleplay with me as __________.

It's like yin and yang: __________ is yin, and __________ is yang.

My fellow Americans: as soon as I become President of the United States, I will lower the price on __________.

When I was 16, I tried __________. Never again.

What are you talking about? I love __________! Can't get enough of it.

So, here I am.
Doing everything I can.
Holding on to what I am.
Pretending I'm __________.

Ryan Garcia, this is Ye. I'm on __________.

Everybody has something of value that they've brought to the table, especially __________.

Making my way downtown. Walking fast, days has past, and I'm __________ now.

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about __________. About me, about you.

IT'S __________ & __________ TIME!

BREAKING NEWS: America has just suffered its latest tragedy of __________ with 39 dead and 538 injured.

Tired of jerking off alone? Try __________! It's fun, free, exciting, and way better than porn.

In 1814, we __________, along with __________, down the __________.

A man fills many roles in his lifetime: provider, protector, __________. As a father, you have a vital role in your family's life. They depend on you to be there.

But, since we're all going to die, there's one more secret I have to share with you: I did not care for __________.

"RUN! IT'S __________!"
"It looks like __________, but due to international copyright law, it's not."
"STILL, WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS __________!"
"Though it isn't."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Man goes into cage. Cage goes into __________. Shark's in __________. Our shark.

Sam, when most people die, they go to purgatory. Why is it that you went straight to Hell?

I forged this corporation with my own blood and sweat. It cost me 2 marriages, 1 heart attack, and __________ to get this company where it is today.

When my fist clenches, crack it open,
Before I use it and lose my cool.
When I smile, tell me some bad news,
Before I laugh and act like __________.

"Oh, my God! Is that a black card?" I look around, and I reply "Why, yes. But, I prefer the term __________."